Guys who have mostly girl friends.

[Lovely]

• What are your thoughts on these guys who have mostly girl friends?
• Do other guys shun them? If so, why?
• Are they necessarily effeminate?
• Why do people assume that they are gay?
• Are they dateable and trustworthy?

[Pflaume]

I'm going to base this on the one friend I have that definitely has only female friends. As in, I really can't think of a single male friend he does have.



I found him to be trustworthy and smart. I think the primary reason he had female friends was just because he shared hobbies and a sense of humor with them; he loved drama, was not perverted, enjoyed "artsy" music, etc. Nerd chicks were his people. I don't recall guys treating him badly at all, but they didn't seek him out as a friend because of the aforementioned hobbies.



He did not strike me as effeminate in behavior or appearance, only hobbies. Gay jokes were made just because of that. I do know that he likes women.



I do think he's "dateable." I know people in the circle of girls who have, at one point, at least thought of dating him. It's not something I've ever personally considered (due to the big problem with being the guy with all female friends--being in the friend zone forever). To me he was just... one of my chick friends. I never thought of him in that sense. I do think, though, that he was sincere, smart, and knew women better than a lot of other men, and that he would make a pretty good boyfriend in that sense.



I hope very much for him one of his long time best friends ends up being his wife one day. <img src='http://mm-bbs.org/public/style_emoticon ... umbsup.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':lesson:' />

[Gypchan]

[*]Do other guys shun them? If so, why?

What do you mean by "shun"? You mean like avoid being friends with them or just outright put them down?

I have never seen either happen, honestly.



[*]Are they necessarily effeminate?

Nope. A lot of the guys I recall having a lot of female friends (like back in high school and college) were into the same hobbies, like singing, theatre, and such.

One in particular was poked fun of for being effeminate when he really wasn't. Sure, he was not really into sports or other traditionally manly things, but because he had no romantic pursuits that would work out, people would assume he was in denial but he was claiming it was the "brotherly" excuse that was being used on him when the girl would break up with him.

What could be said for a girl who has mostly guy friends? Is she necessarily butch?



[*]Why do people assume that they are gay?

I will assume it is because they can actually talk to women in a non-objectified way. In other words, if a guy is friends with a girl and does not want to get into her pants, some people just assume that there is something "wrong" with him (see: "When Harry Met Sally" argument of how men and women can't be "just friends").



[*]Are they dateable and trustworthy?

The ones I knew were as dateable and trustworthy as anyone else, really. They were still human beings with potential as much as any guy who was not friends with mostly girls.

[neshcom]

As someone who admittedly has 98% female friends, I will answer your questions from my unflappable perspective.

• What are your thoughts on these guys who have mostly girl friends?
  
  For me, it was just kinda how my friendships panned out. It's probably the result of my "I don't care what you think about me" attitude, especially towards the ladies. I kinda don't care if I'm open with them because I'm not really trying to get in their pants.
  
  
• Do other guys shun them? If so, why?
  
  I can't say I feel shunned. A lot of it is me. I find it harder to chat up guys, but I don't see any guys chatting me up <img src='http://mm-bbs.org/public/style_emoticon ... omgwtf.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':lesson:' />
  
  
• Are they necessarily effeminate?
  
  I'm not gonna say I'm a flammer (though I could if I wanted to <img src='http://mm-bbs.org/public/style_emoticon ... /noway.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':hahaha:' /> ), but I have some feminine tendencies. I always worry about my hair, I enjoy the color pink, and, shortly afterlistening), I memorized the dances to What a Feeling, TABOO, LOVE Machine, and part of show girl.
  
  
• Why do people assume that they are gay?
  
  Penises are so pretty <img src='http://mm-bbs.org/public/style_emoticon ... #>/wub.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D/' />
  
  
• Are they dateable and trustworthy?
  
  Yes and yes. I am a very loving person who only asks for a little love back. I feel bad about talking behind someone I like's back and I'm always on time and keep my promises.

[AEUGNewtype]

[*]What are your thoughts on these guys who have mostly girl friends?

This is a little too general. I could really care less about them, since as a lot of people have said, most guys don't really come into contact enough with them to form much of an opinion since the person in question only hangs out with girls.

[*]Do other guys shun them? If so, why?

Not neccesarily, but in a majority, perhaps. This may also vary between different places, since certain people in certain areas become more accustomed to gay people being around and end up not minding it so much, but if you're in the middle of Tennessee and gay, you better watch your ass. Perhaps the reason is because most guys are meatheads and shun any thought that doesn't involve sports or having sex with girls? I don't know what else to say as to why. Its weird to try to interpret social situations like this when you're really not often around it. Since I'm not in college or high school anymore, I'm not in constant large groups of the public to observe things like this, but there's a few somewhat relevant cases just within the circle of people I find myself hanging out with every now and again or people I encounter at work or something.

[*]Are they necessarily effeminate?

Not neccesarily by default, but its definitely a good possibility if this is the case with their friends. Most people tend to adapt to and gain rapport with their closest friends, and if their closest friends are all girls, well, you do the math. They may not have been so before they started hanging out with mostly girls (if there was such a time) but after time, most people adapt to the people they've surrounded themselves with.

[*]Why do people assume that they are gay?

Could the reason possibly be because of how gay men have chosen to display themselves in public over time? When men want to be noticed very unmistakably as gay, they take up some obnoxiously effeminate behaviors and habits, all the way from speech and body language to fashion and interests, and most people make the quick mental shortcut of "female habits + male = gay."

[*]Are they dateable and trustworthy?

For girls to date? Besides being a little bit creepy having someone to mirror you in a relationship, as long as you can confirm they're 100% not gay, I don't see why they're not dateable. I think in any relationship (hetero or homosexual) that the two people should compliment each other in certain ways, be it compensating for each other's strengths or weaknesses, or "filling the gaps" so to speak, in each other's personalities. Trust is something that depends from person to person and should be taken on such a basis when making these decisions. One effeminate guy could be the most trustworthy person on Earth, and another be a dispicable liar, but that's something you need to judge from the outside.



This is what I do at my second job now :\

[EmEl]

I've always had more girl friends than guys. Well, not always. My friends in elementary school were other boys (and those friends are still to this day some of my best friends the few times I go home), but then I went to an all-male high school and learned to really dislike guys. I'm not sure if this was the catalyst, but ever since then I've spent far more time with female companions. But it's not like I said, "Well, never gonna be friends with a guy again." I tend to think I get along better with girls because my first friend was mys sister, and I grew up with just her and my mom making it seem more natural perhaps.



I've never felt shunned by other guys, in fact, I'm the one who unconsciously shuns them just because I'm the one choosing my own friends. But dudes talk to me all the time, I just don't go hang out with them when the day is over. I'm very much not effeminate (unless it's effeminate to be respectful to women which of course it's not) and I think your fourth question makes a lot of assumptions itself. I'm not sure anyone ever thought I was gay because of my friends, but they may have been saying it not around me perhaps. All I ever hear are jokes about my "harem" which is the opposite assumption (unless it's ironic). And yes, I'm perfectly dateable and trustworthy!

[freezingkiss]

YES. They are incredibly dateable and trustworthy, usually the guy with a lot of girl friends actually has trouble with girls because he's always being used as the 'shoulder to cry on'. They are NOT effeminate, I find them quite intellectual. Most people don't assume they are gay, just that they are nerds. This is a really weird topic, haven't you ever met a guy who has heaps of chick friends?

[Pucchi-Mo]

[quote name='EmEl' post='60860' date='Feb 24 2009, 11:03 PM']I've always had more girl friends than guys.[/quote]

That way you'll never have to learn to cook. I'm on to you!!



* What are your thoughts on these guys who have mostly girl friends?: Sometimes it just happens that way and there's no big reason behind it. I actually didn't have many close male friends until college, and one could guess it's because there are so many gay guys in college, but I meant I had mostly straight male friends. I have no idea why. However, it was art college, there's not that big of a difference. The straightest male in art college is kind of like the gayest in a state college. (kind of exaggerating, but not by much)



* Do other guys shun them? If so, why?: If other guys shunned him, I'd say jealously might play a big role in this.



* Are they necessarily effeminate?: Only if his menstrual cycle is in sync with the rest of the group.



* Why do people assume that they are gay?

Well it's because of the expectation that a straight guy should be a slobbering horny mess around women and he wouldn't hang out with girls for anything but the pussay. -oh and the ass n' titties.



* Are they dateable and trustworthy?

Really, no less date/trustworthy than the average guy.

While not necessarily more, in theory it would seem that they are.

If he can relate to you, and you both have a romantic attraction, GO FOR IT!